November 2009
3 posts
2 tags
On "being nice"
You said: Sorry for the inconvenience.
I heard: I'm not budging on this one.
2 tags
On respect
What you said: With all due respect
What I heard: You're about to be disrespected
October 2009
1 post
2 tags
On Nepotism...
You said: You need to set up a new PC for [Upper management employee]
I said: Why? What's wrong with the one [Upper management employee] has?
You said: Wireless isn't working?
I said: Did you do any resets?
You said: no, I'd have to reboot the computer and it takes too long.
I said: ... did you re-install any drivers?
You said: No.
I said: I could probably fix it. I mean that's what I do here.
You said: No, [Upper management employee] is getting a new PC and that's pretty much final.
What I heard: You pretty much want to kiss ass by replacing hardware that isn't broken. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a task that takes 3 hours instead of the 15 minute task that you are too grossly incompetent to accomplish.
August 2009
2 posts
On Priorities
You said: 80% of users use 20% of our features
I heard: We're going to deliberately choose where to suck
On Humility
What you said: It's working now, I didn't try any of the things you suggested but just tried again the old way. I'm not sure what's different but thank you.
What I heard: After making you spend time troubleshooting something you knew wasn't broken it totally miraculously worked. Hooray! It's unthinkable that I could have been wrong, I don't owe anyone an apology for being a total jerk about it and wasting your time!
July 2009
2 posts
On "Learning"
What you said: Can you put together a list of the different procedures for the different power management resets and post them so I can see them?
What I heard: I can't be bothered to learn these basic troubleshooting steps on my own and so as your manager, I will instead use your competence as a crutch and hope to god that nobody realizes how little I actually know about this job.
Vices
You Said: "I'm giving up all my vices"
I Heard: "I haven't had anything to contribute recently and have decided that the most interesting thing I could do right now is make a baseless proclamation I will most likely abandon in a matter of days"